When I tell people I’m a birth doula, I often get a mix of reactions—curiosity, admiration, and sometimes even confusion. Many people assume I’m a midwife (I’m not), that I catch babies (I don’t unless it’s a rare situation), or that my job is easy because I just “hold hands and offer encouragement” (It’s so much more than that!!!). I find it rude when people say “doggie doula.” It’s cute, but it shows a deep misunderstanding about the level of grit and devotion this work requires. 

Being a birth doula is one of the most rewarding and challenging roles, and there are a few things I wish more people understood about what we do.

1. We Provide Emotional, Physical, and Informational Support—Not Medical Care

One of the biggest misconceptions about doulas is that we perform medical tasks. While we are highly knowledgeable about birth, our role is to support the birthing person and their partner emotionally and physically—not to replace doctors, midwives, or nurses.

We help clients navigate their options, offer comfort measures like massage and breathing techniques, and provide continuous emotional reassurance. We are there to hold space, advocate, and help create a calm and empowering environment,  but we do not catch babies or make medical decisions.

Some doulas also add spiritual support. There is something to be said about helping someone by remaining steady and calm in prayer and faith. 

2. We Work Long, Unpredictable Hours

Birth doesn’t happen on a schedule, and as doulas, we are always on call. This means being ready to drop everything at a moment’s notice, whether it’s 2 AM or in the middle of a family gathering. Some births are quick, but others can last for 24, 36, or even 48 hours—during which we are offering constant support, often with little sleep or food. It’s physically and emotionally demanding, but we do it because we believe in the importance of uninterrupted support during labor. Some doulas work in pairs, which offers nice time off. Someone doulas work with a trusted back-up.  Some doulas have an overtime clause in their contracts. In the long run, this might be a sustainable approach if you want a truly experienced doula. 

3. We Support ALL Birth Choices

A common myth is that doulas only support unmedicated or home births. In reality, we support all types of births—whether it’s a planned C-section, epidural, induction, or water birth. Our goal is not to push an agenda but to ensure that our clients feel informed, empowered, and supported in their choices.

A great doula provides nonjudgmental care, helping clients navigate their birth plan while remaining flexible for any changes that may arise. Birth is mysterious and our job is to provide stability and encouragement, no matter how the waves move in. 

It is true that if a mother wants a certain type of birth, those are more likely to happen in certain settings. For example, if a mother wants a birth without interventions (like induction) that is less likely to happen with care-providers who have low induction rates. A great doula can help the mother walk through these options. If a mother wants a natural birth, that is more likely to happen under certain circumstances and conditions. A great doula can see both the mother’s wishes and fears and discuss them with honesty and provide expertise about navigating the medical system to make it personalized. Sometimes, this does look like a birth center or home birth for low risk women. What matters most is that women know their birthing rights and are supported in a way that is non-abusive. If a woman wants a natural birth, she needs a care provider who supports physiological birth. Doulas help women navigate this journey, including both the medical options available and the emotional and physical aspects of birth.

4. Advocacy Is a Big Part of What We Do

One of the most important aspects of our role is advocacy. We help birthing people design their birth preferences, ask questions, and ensure their voices are heard in the birthing space. We usually don’t speak directly for our clients, but we empower them to advocate for themselves—especially in medical settings where they may feel vulnerable or unheard. Sometimes, we speak directly to the doctor but it depends on the situation. 

This can be particularly important for marginalized communities, where disparities in maternal healthcare outcomes are a real and pressing issue. Having a doula can make a significant difference in ensuring people receive respectful, patient-centered care.

5. The Emotional Toll Is Real (The joy and grit matter)

Supporting birth is an incredible honor, but it can also be emotionally intense. We witness raw, powerful moments—joy, triumph, and sometimes sadly loss. We hold space for people in their most vulnerable moments, and that can be both deeply fulfilling and emotionally draining.

Self-care is essential for doulas, yet it’s often overlooked. After a long birth, we need time to rest and recover, but we also carry the emotional weight of the experiences we witness. However, the joy of seeing a birthing person feel empowered, a partner gain confidence, and a baby enter the world makes it all worth it. Doulas do wish people understood that if we miss your phone call about scheduling a consultation or show up 10 minutes late to an appointment, it’s not because we don’t care. It’s  because we are holding deep emotional experiences that people in boardrooms and sitting at cubicles do not connect with on a daily basis. It’s because we are doing our best to piece together an ancient womanly art that has been lost in the modern medical complex. It takes its toll. It often requires us to re- birth ourselves over and over again in the work. We get broken down and have to rebuild. We take time off. We come back. We honor the path. 

6. We’re Not Just for First-Time Parents

Many people assume doulas are only for first-time parents, but we support all kinds of families—whether it’s a second-time parent hoping for a different birth experience, someone navigating a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), or parents who simply want extra support. Each birth is unique, and having a doula can make a difference no matter how many times someone has given birth. Many families hire the same doula for all their births. It depends on the mother and where she feels most comfortable.

7. Our Work Doesn’t End When the Baby Is Born 

While much of our focus is on labor and birth, our role often extends into the postpartum period. Many doulas offer postpartum support, helping with breastfeeding, processing the birth experience, and providing resources for new parents. Birth is a life-changing event, and having someone to debrief with afterward can be just as important as the support during labor.

Doulas can be vital lines of help in the event there is severe postpartum depression and mental challenges after a mother gives birth. 

Final Thoughts

Being a birth doula is more than just a job—it’s a true calling. It requires passion, resilience, and an unwavering belief in the strength of birth. It’s unpredictable, and sometimes exhausting, but it’s also deeply life awakening. 

So, the next time you hear someone say they’re a birth doula, know that they are someone who dedicates their time, energy, and heart to ensuring people feel supported and empowered during one of life’s most transformative experiences. It’s not just about birth—it’s about advocacy, education, and compassionate care.