How Our Past Shapes Our Birth: Trauma,  Physiology, and the Power of Awareness  

As birth coaches/ doulas, we often witness that birth is not  just a physical event — it’s an emotional, psychological,  and spiritual unfolding. Profound insights into this  connection can come from the groundbreaking work of  Dr. Bessel van der Kolk in his book The Body Keeps the  Score. His research reminds us that our bodies are not  separate from our life experiences. They hold, store, and  sometimes replay the imprints of our past — especially  our unhealed traumas.  

Trauma Lives in the Body  

When we experience trauma, whether in childhood, in  relationships, or even subtle forms of emotional neglect,  those experiences don’t just vanish with time. Instead, the  body carries them. Our nervous system remembers. Our  breath patterns, our muscle tension, our hormonal  responses — all can reflect the unresolved layers of our past.  

In birth, this matters deeply.  

Birth is an experience that requires surrender, trust, safety,  and embodiment. If our bodies are holding onto stories of fear, betrayal, or past violation, it can show up in how we labor, how we breathe, how we feel safe or unsafe in our birthing spaces, and how easily we can release into the  powerful, primal process of birth.  

The Influence of Relationships and Life Attitudes  

Trauma is not always about extreme events. Sometimes it’s about the chronic ways we’ve learned to feel unsupported, unseen, or unsafe in our relationships. These  experiences shape our worldview.  

Do we trust people to support us? 

Do we feel safe asking for help? 

Do we believe our body is capable, or do we doubt it?  

The answers to these questions don’t come from logic — they come from our lived experiences, which often settle into our subconscious. This can directly impact birth outcomes.  

For example:  

• A birthing woman who has internalized the belief that  their needs are “too much” may hesitate to advocate for themselves in the labor room. 
• Someone who has experienced medical trauma may unconsciously hold tension when in a hospital  setting, affecting their ability to dilate and progress in  labor. For example, some people who have spent  months with a family member, dying of cancer may have tension just walking into the hospital and for these people, it may be wise to consider a place like a birthing center or home birth and may want a Doula to discuss these things with on a deeper level.  
• A person who has been conditioned to believe they must “perform” or please others may find it difficult  to truly relax and surrender to the waves of labor.  This is particularly true of people who grow up as the “star child” or are in sports or possibly have parents who are narcissistic or deeply enmeshed views of  self.  

The Physiology of Trauma in Birth  

When the body perceives danger — even if that danger is emotional rather than physical — it shifts into fight, flight, or freeze responses. In labor, this can look like:  

• Shallow breathing 
• Constricted muscles, especially in the pelvic floor
• Delay in cervical dilation 
• Heightened pain perception/ inflammation 
• Difficulty making clear choices 

These are not failures. They are the body protecting us based on the stories it holds. But when left unaddressed, they can lead to more interventions and more challenging  birth experiences. 

Birth Choices as Reflections of Inner Stories  

Our choice of where and how to give birth is also influenced by these deeper imprints. 

Some may choose hospital births because that feels safest.  Others may be drawn to home births or birth centers to avoid environments that feel triggering or impersonal. Neither choice is inherently right or wrong — but the “why” behind our choices can be powerful to explore.  

When we consciously examine the roots of our fears and preferences, we can approach birth with more self awareness and alignment.  

Moving Toward Healing and Empowerment  

As a doula and labor support person, I believe in the  healing potential of birth. I’ve seen that when birthing mothers feel safe, seen, and supported — when they have a team that honors their autonomy and holds compassionate space — they can birth not just their babies, but new versions of themselves.  

Here are some ways to begin this healing work:  

• Therapeutic Support: Working with trauma informed therapists, somatic practitioners, or hypnotherapists can help process unresolved  experiences before birth.

• Mind-Body Practices: Breathwork, yoga, mindfulness, and prenatal hypnosis can help build a safer relationship with your body. 

• Choosing a Safe Birth Team: Find providers such as licensed midwives and certified doulas who respect your story, your pace, and your choices without  judgment. 

• Exploring Self-Awareness: Journaling, meditation, and inner reflection can help uncover hidden beliefs about your body, your worth, and your birth. 

You Deserve a Birth That Honors All of You  

Your past matters. Your body matters. Your story matters. And it’s never too late to begin tending to the parts of you that may still be holding old fears or pain.  

Birth is a portal to the next level in life— a powerful opportunity to rewrite some of the stories your body has been carrying. You can walk through it with greater trust, awareness, and support.  

If you’re ready to explore this journey with a trauma informed doula and hypnotherapist who sees the whole you — not just the birth plan, but the person inside — I’d  love to walk beside you.